Bonnie Jo Campbell tells a story about a growing sociopath from southern Michigan in “Gorilla Girls”. The unnamed narrator describes actions and feelings that would make a “nice” girl blush in disgust. The story relies on this disgust, because the narrator’s feelings would be the same if she were to act in a more traditional manner. This is a story about a girl trying desperately to get rid of her skin. She’s bursting with raw energy, and she will use violence to suppress her urges.

The text contains a lot of negative language in order to get the reader’s gut feeling. The words chosen by the author are so powerful that if one reads the story, only the adjectives would be enough to create emotions as strong as the actual story. In the first paragraph (15), the narrator calls herself a “poisoned blend” within her mother. This first description of the story sets the mood, but it is only a small part.

Since her birth, she has been frantic, angry, and insecure about herself. She cried constantly as a child and rejected the comforting blankets and soft toys. As a young child, she was violent to her siblings. Later, when she went to school, her violence spread to the rest of her class. She ate bugs and savored their misery. The narrator’s violence is far more than the typical childhood egoism of children who enjoy playing God. She describes her feelings of calmness after slapping Tommy Pederson in school as “afterglow.” This is a term commonly used to describe a period immediately following an orgasm and not a fight. Orgasms are nothing without a release of energy, and that is exactly what she felt when she fought Tommy Pederson. In the same way, she also feels clarity by squeezing the rose thorns in her skin until it bleeds. She also states, “If I had been spanked by my parents, it would have brought me some relief.” When Dr. Radcliffe gives her a slap on the face, she immediately calms down.

In expressing her relief, she expresses that these violent actions are a way to release her inner turmoil. The underlying cause of her tendency to self-injure is that she wants to get rid of the emotions which are too intense or overwhelming to face. Physical pain is much easier to handle. In certain sexual subcultures it is common to see women who are inclined to hurt other people and feel the same way when they do. The same is true when a wealthy CEO pays someone to beat him up and emasculate. The narrator does not seek out violence to satisfy sexual desires, but his motivations are similar.

The narrator’s explosive energy begins to be channeled into physical exhaustion. Initially, joining the team seemed to have tamed her wilder instincts. Once she starts to realize that she is a sexual creature, her floodgates begin to open. In this area, her animalistic instincts are in full control: she sleeps compulsively and masturbates with a fervor. She desperately wants to meet someone who has her strength and wildness, but she is always disappointed. She is constantly disappointed by the men who sleep with her. They are all unfit to satisfy her sexual desires.

When she first sees the “Samba of the Jungle”, she feels at home. Though she knows it’s a fake, she is still mesmerized. She shares a bond with this woman as both of them “need transformation” (27). The blonde woman is not pleased with her response, but she remains determined to be a part the show.

She is left in tears by the catharsis she feels when first viewing the act. The act makes her weaker and then builds her up again, making stronger and more self-confident. She has found a way to express her feelings that is both draining and satisfying. No man or exercise could ever do that. She can concentrate all her anger into one act, and then let it out completely. She describes her physical transformation, but the audience only sees the staged version. She can hold the gorilla form for only a few seconds before she falls under her own weight.

The narrator is at peace when she discovers her inner strength. She is no longer consumed by her inner turmoil, which makes her curse herself into sleep. She has a new way to unleash her potential, use her entire self, and free herself from the frenetic compulsions she once suffered.

michaellang

Michael Lang is a 33-year-old professor and blogger who is passionate about writing. He has been blogging for over 7 years and has written for various online publications. Michael is also a seasoned professor who has taught at the college level for over a decade. He is currently a professor of English at a community college in the Midwest.